Please Only Mature People Only, I Want to Get Stuff Off My Chest?

Question by Jessica C: Please only mature people only, I want to get stuff off my chest?
I really need to get something off my chest and I don’t want mean remarks or mean answers. I only want people who understand where I’m coming from who are mature enough to lend some helpful advice.

I’m going to start from my childhood….When I was little my parents were both drug addicts, I grew up in very bad conditions. I basically survived each day trying to stay away from my parents for fear of being beaten by my Dad and called names like fat ass or compared to my drug addict Mother who weighed like 97 lbs or seeing my Mother so messed up on drugs she could’nt see straight. I was a chubby child but never fat. I basically played outside in the woods or at neighbors houses the first ten years of my life. Needless to say I grew up on limited or no food. Often my Grandmother would show up with molded food such as breads and sweets so, I gorged myself thinking that was my last meal, well that trait has always followed me. I gorge until I feel sick and I constantly think of food. My father died when I was ten of a drug overdose and my Mother went to prison for drug possesion and I felt as if a weight was lifted from my ten year old shoulders when my Dad died I lived in fear of him I felt I would finally be loved by normal people boy was I wrong…then I went to live with my Dad’s brother and wife. It was hell from the first week and lasted 3 years my Aunt would go days with out feeding me and if she found out I snuck food she would call me horrible names and say I was fat. I was only 11 when I snuck a banana and she went through my room till she found it I had gone the entire day without eating. When she found the banana she went crazy on me, I went through that hell for 3 years. Once she even blamed me for my Dad’s death it was the most horrific thing someone could do to me, once again I was badly mistaken. I then went to live with my Dad’s third cousin because my aunt and Uncle could’nt afford to take care of my sisters and I, I was 13 . The cousin I moved in with well her husband raped me for a year when I was 14 years old and I gained so much weight from eating so much I got stretch marks all over my stomach causing me to look like I have had five kids all at once….seriously. Once we were caught together after I told her what was going on several times she kicked me out on the streets and kept him. I went into a foster home where I was miserable and continued to gain weight peaking to 250lbs. there. I left there and moved to North Carolina at 17 years old and my Uncle there tried to come on to me and I fought him all the time to stop. I left at 18 and here I am 20 years old and finally away from it all I am married to the best thing that ever happened to me. I met Joshua my husband in highschool when I was in my foster home Joshua met me when I still looked decent and was’nt 300lbs like I am now. He is in the Navy and we have a good life but the issue is all these things have caught up to me, all the damage has took it’s toll and now I have been suicidal and in pain from all the things life has showed my young life. I could’nt go for hours telling stories but I know others have been through worse all I want to do is survive and make something of myself. I use to want model and one thing stands in the way I’m addicted to food thats how I make it through it’s total comfort it’s all I think of . I think of it when I wake up when I live from day to day. I want so badly to lose weight that I have decided to get the Lap Band. I want to get a job but I can never keep one I let employees that are’nt always very friendly get to me or I get sad and don’t want to go I don’t know how to make it through maybe I can get some advice from others who struggle with these things. Could someone give some good advice to help me get through this and not let these people get to me from my past, some advice on having food addiction, some advice on keeping a job. Please only mature answers. Thanks this took a lot to talk about something so very personal.
I do see a therapist but I want other people to hear my story no it has’nt made me crazy but, stonger.

Best answer:

Answer by someperson
wooow i kinda feel reele bad for u … bt all i got to say is one word SHRiNK …… asap

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