Does My Guy Friend Have Feelings for Me?
Question by : Does my guy friend have feelings for me?
My best friend, Cole, and I have been friends for two years.
We seem like the oddest pair- I am very short (5’3) and 26 years old….Cole is very tall (over 6ft.), British, and 40 years old. But we get on fabulously. I can talk to him about anything, and we just have the greatest friendship… He was a great source of comfort for me when my former husband was overseas for nearly a year, and he has leaned on me dealing with his estranged wife’s drug abuse problem, especially after she left him two years ago.
When I lived in Charlotte, we were inseparable. We would hang out every day, or we’d go grab dinner, and just talk about our significant others, trying to make heads and tails of the situations. We were never physically intimate, with the exception of the rare hug and the couple of times we slept in the same bed (huddled in separate corners)
I moved away from Charlotte in January 2008, and took up residence in Orlando,FL. Cole and I continued to talk every night, sometimes until the wee hours of the morning. Eventually, I noticed that Cole would make odd comments to me, sexual in nature, then quickly say “Oh, I’m just joking”. And once (I can’t believe I’m telling you guys this)he talked me into getting myself off while we were on the phone one night back in December. I’m confused- Cole has made it clear that until closure comes to that situation with his wife, he considers himself still very married. If someone still loves their wife, they wouldn’t be thinking like that, right?
After a few racy conversations, we both just kind of left the topic alone. It’s not that it was uncomfortable, I mean, Cole is a very attractive man, and I have always had a crush on him…but it felt like something shifted in the dynamics of our friendship, and things got a little awkward.
Since then, we still talk fairly often, almost every day. Currently, Cole is visiting his family in the UK, which leads me to my next thing: I got a few emails from him the last time he went overseas. This time, he calls me nearly every day from London and talks to me for ten minutes, up to an hour. He told me about how he’s to the point where he has been patient enough with the situation with his wife, and is going to look into divorcing her once he returns to the States. (I can understand that, he’s been patiently waiting for her to come home for two years, and has remained celibate the entire time.. I think he’s ready to move on.) In our most recent conversation, when I was discussing my difficulties in finding a job in my hometown of New Orleans, where I’ve recently relocated, he pushed me to find a job in Charlotte, when I come visit this summer. He kept finding little things to keep the conversation going, asking me about how things are going with my family, my life.. saying things to make me laugh, complimenting my personality and expressive nature. (seriously. and this guy does NOT give out compliments lavishly.)
I am currently seeing someone, and we’re discussing possibly getting married. When I mentioned that to Cole, he told me “You’re still young, Harley. Don’t jump into something you’ll regret.” He asks constantly if I’ve told my boyfriend about my having cold feet (I do have cold feet about the getting married thing) and keeps urging me to just move out on my own and (again) move back to Charlotte.
He always pushes me to come back to Charlotte. Asks when I’m coming up. Last time I came to visit, he greeted me with a big, warm hug. He’s not even a big, huggy type, he’s ex-British military!
I’m telling you, things have changed in the past two years, and he confides everything in me.. He’s even told me I’m the only other person he talks to about the rough stuff with besides his friend James.
I’m sure this whole explanation sounds completely innocent, like he’s being a good friend and I’m taking things the wrong way, but I believe there’s something there. Opinions, please!
Best answer:
Answer by Psyclone
Well, its either he really needs you as a friend, or hes had that same crush on you that you had on him
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